Here are some of the FREE THINGS Americans can get today by doing their civic duty . . .
1. Krispy Kreme will give you a free donut if you show up with your “I Voted” sticker.
2. 7-Eleven is selling cups of coffee for $1.
3. Chuck E. Cheese will give you a free personal pizza if you voted.
4. Most YMCAs will watch your kid for free while you go vote.
5. Lyft is giving 45% off rides to polling places in most big cities around the country. And Uber is giving new users $20 off on rides to and from voting.
6. And finally, two porn stars named Angelina Castro and Maggie Green will give SEXUAL FAVORS to EVERYONE who votes . . . but only if TRUMP loses. They say they’ll tweet out details of how to collect your prize after the election.