I haven’t seen my sister in three years ever since she and my mom had a big fight and stopped speaking to one another. At first I sided with my mom and refused my sister’s efforts to reach out to me. I felt it was important to defend my mom but I’ve come to realize she may have played more of a role in problem than I first thought. I have wanted to try to smooth things over with my sister for a while now. Mom doesn’t seem to feel the same way. Is it a betrayal to reconnect with sister behind my mom’s back?
Feels strange being estranged
Carlos, Dave and Laura,
On the advice from you and your listeners I reached out to my sister and she was very eager to meet with me. We had coffee on the weekend. It was great to see her, but I was shocked at what she had to tell me about my mom. She said mom had been sent her angry emails bringing up all sorts of things from our childhood and basically blaming my sister entirely for the breakdown in their relationship. I didn’t tell my mom we were meeting and I don’t think I can now without getting into a bigger argument with her. I have decided to try to maintain a relationship with my sister and keep it from my mom for the time being.
My ex and I have joint custody of our 9 and 7-year old kids. He wasn’t a good husband but he’s not a bad father and we don’t usually have much of a problem on making kid-related decisions. My boys came home from their dad’s place last weekend and told me they’d watch several horror movies with him and his girlfriend. I wouldn’t even watch these movies and I really don’t think they’re appropriate for kids. I called my ex and told him I wasn’t happy about what happened and told him I wanted to approve any future movies he watches with the kids before they see them. He got angry, hung up and we haven’t spoken since. How do I control what my kids are exposed to when they’re not with me? – SK in Kitchener
Hi Beat Breakfast. Thank you so much for your advice. I spoke to my husband about the idea of simply following the Canadian movie standard ratings for the kids. He didn’t like the idea saying ‘Well I guess it’ll be nothing but Disney til they’re 18!’ But he eventually agreed to go along with it. However, now I’m afraid he’ll keep watching the other movies with the kids and tell them to keep it a secret from me. I hope my kids will be honest with me and we’ll see what happens.
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