We’re following up with Beat listeners to see how they made out after they sent in their questions to us – and you – for help. Every Friday, it’s a Follow-Up Friday on the Beat Breakfast Panel.
My husband is in a bit of a predicament. His best friend is cheating on his wife and obviously my husband doesn’t agree with it. Here’s where the issue arises, they are incredibly close friends and my husband doesn’t know whether to 1. Ignore it and keep being friends because they’re so close and because he’s a good guy outside of this extreme lapse in judgement or 2. Stop being friends with him if the side relationship progresses any further. We talked about it and I made it clear that I’d pick option two, he however is still hung up on it. It’s really been bugging my husband and he has told his friend to stop and given him crap for what he’s doing. Any advice would be incredibly helpful! Thanks guys. -Anonymous
Hi Beat Breakfast
Thanks for featuring my question on the show on Tuesday! After reading the comments and talking it out, my husband has decided to continue the friendship with this best friend but is going to take a break from hanging out with him one on one until he has the opportunity to have a serious sit down conversation with him. He has already declined to hang out until he is ready to explicitly state that he isn’t comfortable with their friendship if his friend is going to continue the relationship with both women and that a choice needs to be made. No concrete date has been set for this little get together but it will be in the near future. That being said, a few people suggested exposing him to his wife. We both agreed that it is not our business to out him for this behavior despite both of us being SUPER against it. Karma works in funny ways and I prefer to let it run it’s course. Thanks again!
I got engaged this past summer to my BF of seven years.
These past two years I’ve gained at least 50lbs. Life got tough and unfortunately I use food and wine to deal. I know it’s a problem and I’m working on it, but my fiancee doesn’t care. however, his mother LOVES to comment on my weight EVERYTIME we talk. I’ve told my fiancee about it and he says he’s spoken to her, but she stills comments and it hurts my feelings.
This past Thanksgiving, we went over to his family for dinner, and the first thing his grandmother says to me, in front of everyone, is “wow you’ve gotten fat”. I was so hurt and humiliated, I turned around and went home. My fiancee did leave with me. I am so tired of his family being so critical and putting me down.
My question is this: how do I get them to stop hurting my feelings? Should I be the one to say something or should it be my fiancee speaking up? Also, will their attitude poison our marriage over time if it doesn’t stop? A in Cambridge
Hey Beat Breakfast!
Thanks for following up. I read the Facebook comments and some were hilarious! Thank you everyone for your advice I truly felt better after listening and reading them 🙂
I had decided to talk to my fiance’s closest family about being more respectful. I planned a dinner and invited them over .. however, a few days after the ‘incident’, many family members called me to apologize on the grandmother’s behalf . Turns out me walking out of the party sent a strong message. I’m usually shy and never rock the boat, so it left an impression on them.
I still had the dinner at my place, but since everyone had already apologized I decided to just move on and work on rebuilding trust with them. So far everything is great and I haven’t heard one comment about my weight (or any other negatives) from his mother or anyone else, and everyone is now aware that I won’t stand to be disrespected anymore. The real test will come when the Christmas get togethers come around
Thanks for following up, I love you guys A in Cambridge
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